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Hi,I am Deepa from Bangalore,India.I juggle between content writing at Agile Labs and teaching computer science at Christ University. Embroidery is my passion and I can spend hours stitching. I  have blogging about my embroidery projects at This and that...my random thoughts for the past 7+ years. Do visit my little space in the blogosphere. Thanks!!!

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Ramblings

Can someone give me some inspiration to stitch and to blog?

I think I've lost it somewhere.After the quite elaborate bedlinen and the peacock, I have run out of fuel. My hands are reluctant to pick up needle ...and the idea of signing off from blogging has crossed my mind more than once.I think my DH's brainwashing is having an effect on me. He keeps on and on.."why do you spent so much of time on something which gives no return? Where is the value for your time? "

And I reply - "This gives me pleasure,I love embroidery, its my hobby.Do I not have a right to do what I love? and blah.,blah.."

For which he has a ready answer -"A hobby is good enough only if it is done for a little time ,not hours and hours"
Well, I don't stitch everyday, so the one day I stitch, I stitch for a  good amount of time. This conversation has been repeated for an umpteenth time between me and him.I usually let it in through one ear and out through the other.Of late,I've been unscuccessful in eliminating them. I think his arguments are slowly entering into my thoughts,dreams and everywhere else :)

What do I do?...

Until next post,
See no evil,hear no evil,speak no evil,
Deepa
P.s I think I'll do some lighthearted stuff..may be that'll help

21 comments:

Anasuya said...

Hi Deepa My feelins is doing what you like at your own pace is a stress buster.Best wishes to you.ansu chennai

riona said...

I would be tempted to do an "inventory" of all of the man's activities that give him "no return" ... how does he spend his leisure time ... does he read, watch TV, play golf, follow the shennigans of a sports team, cruise the internet ... or is his primary amusement nagging you in so judgmental a way? Most of the different ways people amuse themselves during their leisure time have value if only because, as any psychologist will tell you, humans need to "play" at least a part of every day to maintain mental health.

Debbie said...

Ask him, Deepa, if he'd rather pay for a therapist! It's a fact that those who stitch (whatever type of needlework or sewing) daily are more relaxed, calmer, have lower blood pressure, etc.

Miss 376 said...

It must be hard when family members don't understand your desire to stitch and don't support you. I've been most fortunate that I have always been supported by family, if not always understood. If it helps, I really enjoy seeing what you do, it is a real pleasure to see

ana_didi said...

Maybe remember it's not just a hobby. The beauty gives blessings :)
kisses from Brasil

Coeur de freesia said...

Hello Deepa,
I don't have the feeling that you spend so many hours blogging (stitching - I don't know).
Why your husband say that ? Does he want to spend more time with you ? Does he want that you do more work at home ? What is the real problem ?

You may have different point of view regarding hobbies, and respect each other's desires, no ?

Glapha Cox said...

Making something beautiful is also a return on your work. You may not get money for it, but you can see it. Your tutorials are also there for people to see when they need them. That helps others. What you are describing sounds like burn out. You've been doing it so much that you are tired of it. Back off, do something else, do something light, have fun. Things will fall back into place. Good luck!

Heather said...

Deepa... do not give up something you love... life is way too short and you have a right to be happy... if embroidering and blogging makes you happy, then do it! What else are you going to do with your time. The return you get is the satisfaction for yourself and of that of other that you share your passion with us... normally when you talk about return, you talk about money... does that mean that everything we do in our spare time must be to make money... why... to take it with us when we die... to leave it for others when we die... they'll just spend it and have a good time... your hand made items will be there for years to come, even after you are gone, for others to enjoy, heirlooms so to speak. What will you do with your time if you don't do this... have coffee, spend time with your girlfriends, watch TV, garden... what?? No matter what you need a diversion from every day life and if this is your diversion, then keep doing it. We will miss you if you give up blogging, but never ever give up embroider... it is a lost art that can only become part of history if those of us who continue to do it, do it. Oh, and if you're looking for return to please the other half... may I suggest taking all of your lovely lessons and turning them in to a book and offering it for sale... check out publishers, they may be interested, or look at creating your own... perhaps I am not much help and I have rambled on way too long too... but all of us followers care about you! Hugs.

Magpie's Mumblings said...

Does your DH have a hobby of his own? I don't think most men truly understand our need to be creative and to do something with our hands. They are perfectly content to sit in front of the tv set and expect us to be satisfied with that too.
As for return and value for what you do - of course there is - maybe not monetarily but certainly in your self satisfaction and feeling of worth. Men just don't 'get it'! Do what you feel is right for you, because that is what will make you happy.

neki desu said...

oh no! first we lost Elisabeth and now you?? why don't you delight us with some of those great indian cuisine recipes while the tide reaches the shore

shirley said...

Hi Deepa, Please dont leave blogging, I love following your work.

I know how you feel, we all get like that sometimes, and men just dont understand the giving of yourself for the love of what you are doing and not making money.

Could you do some classes where you can charge and bring in a bit of an income to keep DH happy. Maybe you could come up with an idea of something to make that you could sell...if making money is the issue.

But if you achieve a lot of satisfaction in what you do, keep at it. Your own self worth is valuable so dont let go of that.

Keep up the good work...and just work on a few little projects for a while until you get your mojo back.

cheers,
shirley

Lakshmi said...

Deepa I dont think you need to sign off unless if you lose interest. Everything can't be measured in terms of time or money. As a working woman and responsible young mom you may not allot your much time for blogging. But you can do small embroidery for ur lil daughter like her fav cartoon character/animal on her school bags, lunch bags, hankies etc and see the spark in her eyes..nothing is matched to see lil ones happy..tht will give you a lott inspiration.
its my opinion only but decision is all yours that is good for your family..

Deepa said...

Thanks everyone!!I badly needed a few kind words.I had started questioning myself on what I should do and what I should not.I surely will continue embroidering and blog about it too..but only some simple stuff for a while and at an even slower pace :)
Thank you Ansu,Riona,Debbie,Heather,Jane,ana,Mary Anne,Shirley,Neki - Iam so glad that blogging has given me so many friends and Iam not going to give them up so easily.

Glapha Cox,
Yes, Iam following your advice - I've taken up a nice trashy thriller. I'll spent my time reading for some days,relax and get back with full power :)

Elena,
The actual problem is - Iam no longer earning as much as I used to .After the baby,I became a part timer and atpresent no income from my side at all.He fears about my future and so he targets my hobby.He wants me to blog about computer science and technical stuff rather than waste my time on needles and threads.Iam trying ,but the enthusiasm is lacking. Otherwise he wants me to earn with my hobby. .He feels that after a couple of years of being stay at home mum careerwise I'll be useless since computer science is a rapidly changing field and Iam outdated :)He is right,but my stitching is also not wrong...Iam torn between the two. I kind of feel guilty taking up stitching infront of him.

Deepa

Neetika said...

Hi Deepa,
I understand your probelm fully as I am in the same boat as you. However, luckily, my husband has never badgered me regarding not doing anything in my field, that's computer applications.
That role is more than fully performed by my parents. You see, I quit as a software engineer three years ago, with no plan whatsoever to do anything next. In such a scenario, loved ones do feel concerned, and with us Indians, it translates into nagging and badgering when it is actually just conern.
I could turn it off, since thankfully, I don't live with my parents, and my husband supports me with whatever I do.
you can always try to make your husband see how your hobbies make you happy and enrich so many other lives. Not everything in life needs to be productive monetarily.
Although I am not sure how successful you'll be in convincing him... I have been trying the same thing for the past three years with little success, however, with time, they do realise that their fears are unfounded and not earning has not made you any sadder, or even poorer. I know my quality of life increased many fold just because I was not working, just comapre an army officer's wife's life with that of a software engineer and you get the picture.
Staying at home and not working full time, helps you bond with your little one, the things you can teach your kid, things you can share while always being there for him can't compare to the "quality time" working moms have to make do with.
Everything in life will have tradeoff, this is ours... However, since you are so good at your craft, I suggest you sell your pieces on etsy, artfire or even eBay. Once some returns start, you will have something to show for your hobby...
And hang in there... The things you do are much too precious to give away just for some criticism.

Saritha said...

Hello Deepa,
Iam in a similar situation like you..But the husband here is supportive..I quit a career I had in computers 4 years ago when we had our son..It was a joint decision..That time priority was giving my kid my full attention..And now I have accepted that Iam totally outdated careerwise :)..I took up crafting only recently..Husband is kind of relieved when I took this up because before that I was not doing anything productive at all..So just hang in there..After all what makes you happy is what you have to do..Everything in life cannot be weighed in terms of money..And Iam sure your husband also knows that..He is just freaking out for the wrong reasons(all husbands do that, so do wives :))

Thendral said...

Hi deepa, how r u? Men are not as creative as us women and they don't understand the happiness in it. Even, the same thing happens in my home also. When ever it sit with my needle, I'll hear a comment 'Started....'. what u say is correct, most men are career oriented. At last every problem has its own solution, this too will have. what u have to do is to find it.
please note one thing, not every one is blessed with these talent.
I got inspired by U. I love to see ur works.

nima said...

Oh Deepa...I'm sure words can give you some comfort....I hope you can get over this soon....

i'm a computer engineer ("outdated"-got my b.tech degree in 2000) passionate only in needlework ....lol....I know i survive only because of the support of my loving husband...

I know things are not "rossy" when i go back to India...

Ninu said...

Deepa,I also hear the same dialogues, frm hubby and relatives. I dont know whthr its my fault or some other that I dint get a job after I took a small break. Actually I am quite relieved seeing this post that there are others who also have similar situation as me.I was feeling too low these days and was fighting with me to get the charge back.

Miriam said...

Deepa, not everything in life has to be "useful". What about watching television ( a lot of people spend hours watching, while I prefer to stitch) for example ....

Another thing is that you are sometimes out of inspiration. I think it is the best thing to take a little break, until something is catching your eye. Or try something different like sewing, crocheting or a (for you) new embroidery technique.

Heidi said...

I have been feeling the same way! Reading for pleasure helps, I think! Trying something new - maybe another kind of sewing for awhile?

Anonymous said...

Hi Deepa, n everyone else! I do see that this a way old topic of concern here but i just happened to read it today after getting hooked to this wonderful blog.

I too went through a similar situation a year ago but with th only difference being..it was my inner self nudging me instead of my husband.. Hence then i have been trying to earn out of hobby just to prove tat i am not wasting my time n instead is very precious n beautiful which everyone Will love n appreciate.

Unfortunately, i am undergoing depression now.. As i am unable to market what i make... N ppl though appreciate the work in words..would think twice putting their penny on it... Hand embroidery is priceless n ppl these days undervalue it in front of ready machine work.. Wat a sad scenario!! So i have concluded to keep my hobby as just a hobby... N ofcourse my therapy!!

So cheers to everyone who appreciate this wonderful art.. N big applause to Deepa for her wonderful blogging...